When my husband died, the last thing I wanted to think about was his will. Grieving is a full-time job. Because Tom had prepared his will years earlier, I was spared one of the most brutal complications that can follow the death of a loved one. I’ve heard other widows describe the nightmare of sorting through estate issues without clear guidance—families fighting, assets frozen, legal battles that drag on for years and compound their already devastating loss.
Writing a will is an act of love. It’s a final gift of clarity and protection for those you’ll leave behind.
I know what you’re thinking: “I’m too young” or “I don’t own enough to need a will” or “It’s probably complicated and expensive.” But the fact is, if you own anything of financial or sentimental value, even if it’s just a crappy car, a small savings account, or a family heirloom necklace, writing down your wishes about who gets what will help those you leave behind. And no matter how young you are, I bet you can think of someone your age who died suddenly (and maybe without a will). Finally, it’s not as hard or expensive as you think—keep reading and I’ll tell you about a free and easy way to create a will.
Most importantly, get it through your head that having a will isn’t about you—it’s about the people you love.
If you die without a will, your loved ones will have to deal with additional stress during an already difficult time. If there’s no will, they may have to work through extra legal hurdles, family conflicts, or second-guessing whether they are doing what you would want. You may think no one would want your stuff, but I know families that have fought over cars that don’t run and neckties that nobody liked—not to mention a herd of cattle that a bunch of city slickers went to court over.
The best news is that for most of us, writing a will is relatively simple and affordable. While complex estates might need legal guidance, a basic will is perfectly adequate for most people. Having a simple will is infinitely better than having no will at all.
Recently, I helped someone write their will using FreeWill, an organization recommended by the AARP. I was amazed at how simple it was. The whole process took less than 30 minutes, and yes, it was completely free. The website walked my friend and me through every step, explaining legal terms in plain language and helping them think through important decisions.
The site generates a legal document that you just need to print and get signed by two witnesses who aren’t beneficiaries in your will. In most states, you don’t even need a notary (and the site will tell you if you live in a state that does need a notary).
So, you have no good reason to put it off.
Today, right now, take 30 minutes to write your will. Do it while watching TV or during your lunch break. Do it because you love your people. Do it because it’s free and easy. Do it because having witnessed the chaos of no will and the clarity of having one, I can tell you that this small act makes a world of difference.
Don’t wait until it feels urgent.
Once the will is written, talk to your loved ones about it. Even better, talk to your loved ones before or while you write your will. Make it a family activity. You may be surprised to find out who would love to have your vintage tea cups or the old trombone in the basement.
When we avoid difficult conversations about death, we often create more pain later.
Elizabeth Kleinfeld is a disabled widow who blogs about grief, disability, Buddhist life, and joy. Sign up for her free monthly newsletter here.