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How to Use Beginner’s Mind to Talk about End-of-Life
My end-of-life doula training emphasized from the beginning the importance of bringing curiosity and an open mind to conversations about end-of-life. Even when we think we know how someone feels or what they want, we need to allow room for them to surprise us. Adopting beginner’s mind is a great way to do this. Engaging…
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Dealing with Post-Break Overwhelm + Anxiety
I had friends in town for a few days last week. I worked while they were staying with me but let most everything else slide. Within moments of them leaving, I was overwhelmed with all I had to catch up on. My mind seemed to instantly fill with tasks that felt urgent: vacuum up all…
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Embracing Aging
This month I’ll turn 55. I hated birthdays as a child because of family dysfunction, but after my stroke when I was 27, birthdays finally felt meaningful. Making it to 28 did seem like something to celebrate. Now I celebrate all birthdays with gusto—mine as well as those of other people. So much can happen…
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You’re not the only one who is lonely
In his compassionate and deeply thought-provoking book Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, Vivek Murthy makes clear that nearly everyone is lonely at some point in their life but one of the cruel tricks of loneliness is making you think you’re the only one who is lonely. You are…
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Celebrating Special Occasions
Almost any time I have a glass of wine or a cocktail with someone else, I say “cheers” and clink my glass with theirs. I love the “cheers” and clinking ritual. It reminds me that I am lucky to be sharing a moment with whoever I am with and it adds a note of celebration.…
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5 Ways Grieving People Can Start 2024 Peacefully
I like to take some time in December and January to reflect on the year that has passed and to use that reflection to think about how I want the next year to go. This is my third time going through that reflection process as a widow. I haven’t changed the process I use in…
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Befriending Overwhelm
I spend a good part of my time at the intersection of Depression, Anxiety, and Grief. When overwhelm hits, which it often does, and a wave of panic rises up in my chest, I take a deep breath. I find my Buddhist practice very helpful when I feel that panic. Panic makes me feel like…
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Welcoming Depression Back into My Life
A couple weeks ago I realized my grief was veering into depression. I am trying to take a non-combative approach to my depression. It is part of me and if I love myself, I must love the depression in some way.
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There Are No Bad Days
One of my favorite Buddhist writers, Sallie Tisdale, advises that we not label days bad but instead call them challenging or hard days. This philosophy is in keeping with what I’ve practiced since my own stroke in 1997 which I was not expected to survive. While in a medically-induced coma, I had a “going towards…
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